Friday, November 25, 2011

No Munchkins Allowed

My husband and I have made a permanent decision to not have children. How freeing! I even tried to talk myself out of our permanent solution to make sure that this is the right decision. The ONLY reason I could think of for having kids is to have someone to take care of us when we're old. But what's to say that our children will outlive us or be available when we need them? To me, that reason in itself is not strong enough to merit a new life!

We are/I am not the "normal" childfree couple. I was looking online to see if others felt like me, and came across some sites that were critical of (bordering on hateful to) parents, Christians, breastfeeding moms, and more. I am not against any of that!!! I think parents are great, and love to see a mom in my office reading a book to her child, or encouraging a mom to breastfeed for her and her baby's health. Heck, I even love to watch 19 Kids and Counting. Their commitment to their family and their faith is admirable. But should we have a child....because they're cute? because everyone else is doing it? it's what we're "supposed" to do? Nah. Some people just cannot fathom why we want to stay childfree, so here is a summary.

  • Environmental - the Earth's population is exploding and we are using up our resources too quickly. Babies need diapers and stuff and food for their whole lives. I could use cloth diapers, but if I never have to change diapers, even better!
  • Occupational - I love my job. I've never met a mom who wasn't torn between her job and her kids. Why put myself in that situation if I don't have to?
  • Emotional - Children are a blessing, but they can also be very stressful!
  • Marital - My husband and I can agree to disagree on certain issues that won't ever affect us since we won't have kids. Working out agreements is a good thing, but there are just certain things we won't ever have to worry about (like video games/TV, curfew/bedtime, etc).
  • Physical - I never have to be pregnant. Enough said.
  • Helpful - As a wife, there is a lot of work to do at home (children or not!). As a Christian, there is a lot of work to do for God's Kingdom. I am seriously not perfect and still improving in this area, but being childfree really is freeing to help other children who are already here and do the other things that God wants me to.
As you can hopefully see, this was not a hasty decision, but a prayed-over, thought-out decision. This is not just a matter of trying to take the easy way out. I do not judge those who have children or want to have children. We all have our own lives. I do wish that people would more carefully consider the decision to have children (or not!) before taking on this monumental, life-long challenge. It is the child who suffers when the parents are not prepared for the responsibility.

There will always be those who say, "You'll change your mind." Well, I know that God is the only one who knows the plans for my life, and the only one with the power to change minds. If He tells us something different in the future, I'll do my best to follow. But for now, I am free.

No comments: